Best news ever guys! I am thrilled to announce that I get poisoned tomorrow! 

My drain came out to very minimal fanfare (which is good in this case) and my surgeon cleared me for chemotherapy tomorrow. Joy of joys!

There is a handful of sarcasm above, but mostly I am stone cold serious. I am desperate to start chemo up again because I want it to be over. With it being pushed back, the finish line seems unfathomable. With it starting up again, it seems within my reach.

Here’s a funny lil component… You have to take 2 sets of steroids the day before chemo. You are supposed to take two pills first thing in the AM and then the second dose at lunchtime. Steroids, as most of us know, are major uppers so taking them anywhere near bedtime is a no-no.

My appointment with the surgeon to get cleared wasn’t until 2pm today. By the time word got from my surgeon to my oncologist that I was cleared, it was 4pm and I wasn’t home. My oncologist called and said to take 2 steroids asap (which ended up being 5:15pm) and the second round right before ‘bed’ (11pm).

So get ready suburbia, you’ve got a bald housewife all jazzed up, hyper-alert and on the prowl. I am W I D E awake.

Anyone wanna meet for a Slurpee? It’s on me. Anyone want to go for a light jog? Play Shoots & Ladders? ANYTHING? There’s a punching bag in my garage!

Oh I see you, you healthy, normal people. I get it. I’ve got your number. You are sleeping comfortably in your beds while I roid-rage it out all night.

Ok fine. Be that way. Jerks.

#grancerontheprowl