Wah-mbulance

It has been a while since I complained, and I am basically spilling over with contempt, so buckle up buttercups. Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Chemo. I have been getting chemotherapy for just over 20 weeks at this point. The staff at the cancer center all know me and when I don’t…

Grace+Cancer+Covid = Grancvid

Pop. Six. Squish. I can hear Velma Kelly singing “she had it coming.” Well folks, I finally got Covid. I had a good run. 2.5 years of evading the enemy. 18 of those months were spent in an elementary school surrounded by the germiest of the germies, grade school kids, and I still never got…

The Good Place

I think we can all agree that things have been pretty bleak in our world recently. The Russian invasion of Ukraine, Uvalde, the oncoming attack on women’s reproductive rights and so much more make for a depressing nonstop news cycle. I do my best to separate myself from these large and looming issues, as I…

Wormhole

Living in Cancertown brings with it some of the oddest realities. The way you existed and understood everyday life is blown to smithereens. What is up is now down, what is red is blue. No one really ever talks about these changes. You are expected to encounter them and simply get on board. Example 1:…

The Cancer 15

Name a woman who doesn’t have a complicated relationship with her body. I’ll wait. It all started when I was a chubby little girl. My dad referred to me, in his speech at my wedding, as a “cherubic” child. I remember listening to my pediatrician say that if my parents didn’t get me involved in…

Birthday

Today is my 42nd birthday. Important to know that historically, my birthday is my favorite holiday. I realize it hasn’t been nationally recognized, but I do consider my birthday a holiday, as I think everyone should. I really love the pomp and circumstance that I basically demand around my birthday. This started when I was…

Tax(ol) Day

‘Twas the night before new chemo and all through the house, I can’t think of a rhyme, cancer sucks. Tomorrow I start a new chemo called Taxol. Supposedly it is much more palatable than the chemo I was on before. The main side effects listed are distal neuropathy (permanent numbness in fingers and toes), exhaustion…

Corpus

I hope not to offend as I write about my body on Easter weekend. I get that there is a much bigger headliner for body stuff this time of year. I did attend 8 years of Catholic school, after all (consider me long lapsed at this point). The amalgamation of Easter and AC chemo #4…

Ativan-cements

As I have finished 3/4 of the extra-evil part of my chemo regime, I feel confident giving it a rating of 0 out of 5 stars and a solid 1/10. I am willing to give it a 1 instead of a zero because it is ostensibly ridding me of cancer which deserves a point. As…

Babes in Cancerland

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while now, but dreading it because the reality is too harsh. I think it is time to talk about my kids and how they are handling Greg & Co. We have three kids ages 13, 11 and 8. 7th, 6th and 2nd grade. I am…

Cancer’s Hottest Club

If we consider chemo-day day 1, then my last post was on day 4. On day 5, I was scheduled to have hydration therapy at 3pm. Hydration therapy is where you have your port accessed at the cancer center and they dump IV fluids into you to make you feel partly human. By 7:30am on…

Sleep Through This

Day 1: My friend Lesley took me to my first chemo. It took forever for the pre-party to finish. The pre-party consists of them accessing your port, waiting for blood results to make sure you are fit for chemo, then drips of 2 anti-nausea meds, a bag of roids and a bag of Ativan which…