I know what you are thinking. Could this chick get any sexier?

Yes, yes I can.

I have a minivan. BOOM.

Normally when I emerge from the van-of-mini, I look just like every other suburban mom. But now that I look like Krusty the Clown, I am receiving quite a few sideways glances.

I wrote a lil poem about it:

To the folks around the suburbs

I sense that my look disturbs 

You want an answer?

Well I have breast cancer

And this van be all up on your curbs. 

I figured I’d have some fun

In ditching my messy bun

I know what you’re thinking

“The nanny is drinking!”

Nah- ‘My kids, my van- ‘kay, hun?’

So we roll on by on mom wheels

Pony hair won’t be back til I heals

Cancer’s a bitch

And speaking of which

Grancer twirls on my haters– for reals.