Tonight’s Top Ten Category is:

Top 10 Exciting Chemo Side Effects So Far

Number 10: Bone Pain- Most likely from the Neulasta shot meant to bolster white blood cell production. Adult growing pains never felt so horrible!

Number 9: Itchy Scalp- Instead of enjoying your hair for the last few days you have it, why not frantically itch it 24 hours a day?

Number 8: Night Sweats- Waking up in a swimming pool of your own sweat is one way to drop a few lbs.

Number 7: Constipation- Sewer back up? What sewer back up?! We love it in here!

Number 6: Cotton Mouth- When water tastes like soft milk, everybody wins.

Number 5: Dull Headache- Just annoying enough to notice at all times, but not bad enough to warrant constant whining (or narcotics).

Number 4: TasteBud Change- Fresh fruit tastes like dirt; sharp cheddar cheese becomes best option for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Number 3: Rashes- Pick a body part, pick a type of rash, ladies’ choice!

Number 2: Immunosuppression- Killer inner ear pain? Turns out you have your first double-ear infection since you had braces! Did I hear someone say urgent care?

Number 1: Gratitude: We take for granted our health, everyday. Be happy and grateful you aren’t experiencing #’s 10-2.