Okay, I realize that a haircut was probably slightly premature, but I am desperate to do anything that feels non-cancery. My hair was starting to grow over my ears and the nape of my neck was looking sloppy. This was all I needed to warrant a visit to the salon.

The haircut itself took approximately 4 minutes.

You may have noticed that my hair is a beautiful shade of steel. I used to have warm, dark chocolate brown hair with only a smattering of grey hairs. Post-chemo growth is a terrifying mix of silver and slate. It really adds insult to injury. I have heard from cancery folk that the first inch of growth can be discolored as the follicles are recovering too, but I just can’t stand it.

I asked my oncologist about coloring my hair and she said I had to wait 6 months post-chemo. NOOOOOOOOO. She did say that I could use henna color so I bought a box and brought it with me to my haircut to consult with my stylist about it.

She reminded me that I am only about a month and a half away from being 6 months (can you believe that?!) out from my last chemo and I may as well wait since henna can be weird. Ugh, fine.

Since we had the box anyway, we decided why not attempt to darken my weird, see-through eyebrows?! Seems only logical right?

Why not rub smelly, green dirt all over my face? The box said to wrap a warm, moist towel around your head while the product processed so we brainstormed how to accomplish this with eyebrows. Enjoy our ingenious vision below.

Okay, so I don’t look even a smidge different, but at least I can say that I did something. So much of cancer treatment and recovery is having things done to/or happen to you. To take the control back, even in the form of green eyebrow caterpillars and a 4 minute haircut, is empowering and worth any disruption.

I would like to take this opportunity to write a short letter to my follicles:

Dear Follicles,

You guys have been through a lot. I can only imagine how traumatic it must have been to just be chilling there one second and the next feel the low rumbling of poison barrelling in your direction.

You were forced to evacuate under duress with no warning. Your only function was ripped away from you and your genetic identity was lost. Who are you without hair? It must have been devastating.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge all that you have endured and encourage you to put the past behind you and focus on the future. You have so much potential. I know this because I have seen it! You are working hard and your efforts have not gone unnoticed.

I am going to ask of you one thing. I want you to remember what it was like before that fateful day when your hairs all jumped ship. Remember how wonderful it felt to house brown, shiny, long hair. You were such a champ and I know you can get back there again if you just put your mind to it.

I believe in you-

Love,

Grace