I think we have all envisioned that moment when your children are handed their first silicone implants. It’s the stuff parenting dreams are made of.

We made the somewhat controversial decision to include our older children in as much of the process as we deem acceptable and as much as they show interest in. They know mom has breast cancer, they know my breasts will be removed and, most excitingly, they will be replaced with super awesome ‘boob balloons.’

The boob balloons have been the topic of much speculation so we decided to bring them to my final plastic surgeon appointment in order to demystify the concept. Dr. Sisco was very kind and generous, allowing us to invade their office and collectively fondle anything we could get our grubby hands on.

The kids got to ask their questions (no I will not be a cyborg) and more importantly meet one of the people who will be operating on me. Having a smiling face to attach to the creepy concept of ‘opening up mommy’ was helpful for them.

The kids left relatively quickly and my sister and I remained to endure the hour long appointment discussing the recovery process in detail. My nerves have been tempered, but have started to boil up from the inside in recent days. This ‘lil chat brought the explosion much closer to the surface.

We talked about incisions, biopsies, stitches, pain, the art of drains and immobility. We practiced how to ‘milk a drain line’ (I may have thrown up in my mouth a little bit) and empty those suckers, only to allow them to fill up again with ‘fluid.’ We were shown how to attach them to a lanyard to place around my neck while I shower and how to discreetly attach them inside my clothing, as I may be wearing them for up to 3 weeks.

What was worse for me was learning how incredibly immobile I will be. The goal for Week One is to walk for 5 minutes once an hour. No lifting my arms above shoulder height. No picking up Enzo for up to 6-9 weeks. The nurse couldn’t even guess when I will be able exercise the way I am able to now.

We were handed a bag filled with gauze, ointments, prescriptions to fill, sterile cups to collect the drain fluid… Worst goody bag ever.

I am going to save my feelings on all of this for a later blog post. I don’t think you guys are ready for that jelly. And I might not be either. #denialisariverinegypt

#breastcancer #grancer #mastectomy