Treat Yo Self

A very wise friend of mine, who has also been through cancer, once told me that if possible I should try to do one special thing between each round of chemo. Four rounds, four special things. I enjoy special things. I will, in fact, heed this advice. Round 1’s special thing was staying downtown with…

Goldilocks & The Three Naps

Do you have a bed in your home? Do you ever leave your front door unlocked or perhaps a window ajar? If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then you are at risk for finding me taking a nap in your house. You can call me No-ldilocks. This round of chemo was…

Loser Soup

This last round of chemo was tougher than the first. Not sure why. Could be the additive nature of more chemo. Could be we putzed with the intended schedule by pushing it back a week due to infection. Could be my body was less able to handle the onslaught due to the 2 infections I…

This Girl is Poison

Best news ever guys! I am thrilled to announce that I get poisoned tomorrow!  My drain came out to very minimal fanfare (which is good in this case) and my surgeon cleared me for chemotherapy tomorrow. Joy of joys! There is a handful of sarcasm above, but mostly I am stone cold serious. I am…

This is Not Porn

See that under my dress? That is my drain bag and tubing. When I took that picture I thought to myself, this seems risqué to put on a public blog, which got me thinking. We put on bathing suits all summer long and go out in public. The outline of my body is not what…

Slim Drainy

Guess whose back? Back again. Drainy’s back. Tell a friend. That’s right folks, I woke up the morning with the normal amount of holes in my body and now I have an extra. Bonus!!! I’ll back up. Remember the seroma I’ve been talking about? It’s the buildup of fluid under my armpit where they removed…

Hi, How Are You?

My dad had an incredible sense of humor. It wasn’t something he wore on the outside, it was more like a lil gift you received if you were able to crack the code of his language and delivery. He had the type of clever, dry wit that zings you when you least expect it. One…

License To Chill

What a wild 24 hours it has been. One of my nearest, dearest, oldest, friends, Miranda, flew into town yesterday morning to see me for a few days before chemo and then accompany me there tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th). We decided to use some connections and stay the night downtown at the Waldorf Astoria. We…

BALD

I’m not ready to talk about it, but it had to happen. I really looked like a dying blue macaw. And in the vein of Grancer full disclosure, I had to share with you all. My thoughts will follow after I process this super craptastic part of the odyssey. I’m gonna need a minute. Thank…

Mic Drop Minivan

I know what you are thinking. Could this chick get any sexier? Yes, yes I can. I have a minivan. BOOM. Normally when I emerge from the van-of-mini, I look just like every other suburban mom. But now that I look like Krusty the Clown, I am receiving quite a few sideways glances. I wrote…

Dear Mr. Hemsley UPDATE

BEHOLD THE POWER OF SOCIAL MEDIA————— So I won. Why isn’t there an exclamation point after that, you wonder? Because I won. I get a fancy, human hair wig. Don’t get me wrong. I am excited and very, very proud that my persistence and communication worked.  I have built myself a platform from which I wield…

Twilight Sparkle

When I was a little girl I was obsessed with My Little Ponies. These were not the MLPs of today, who are slender, beautiful and sassy. My ponies were chubby, cute and lovable. I am sort of embarrassed to admit this, but at the height of my ponydom, I had 73 of these little plastic, equine toys….