Clean Margins

When my surgeon called to say that the surgical margins were clean she sounded so relieved. She admitted that she had been holding her breath. Same girl. I have started and re-started this sentence many times because it is hard to make anything in this cancery odyssey finite, but I should be done with cancer…

Twilight

I am the last surgery on the docket for my surgeon today. Fasting for the entire day is really a bummer. A hungry Grace is a cranky Grace. In bad timing news, I had some, eh em, stomach trouble the whole second half of the day yesterday. I either ate something that did not agree…

SCANS spelled backwards is SNACS

To clarify, scans for disease neither involve actual snacks nor do they qualify as what Gen Z would call snacks. I have had 4 scans for Greg & Co. in the last 4 weeks. In this post, I will be listing them from best to worst in listicle form. Everything described below is opinion. No…

When the Air Leaves the Room

This will be a two-part post. This part is being written on Monday, January 17 in the evening. Tomorrow I have a PET scan to see if my cancer has metastasized. The fact that I am even getting a PET scan is an ominous sign. It means there is a chance I have a terminal…

My Gregtopus Teacher

This title is a very deep cut. In order to understand it, you need to be aware of the 2020 BAFTA and Academy Award winning documentary, My Octopus Teacher, which is about a man who befriends a deep-sea octopus and of course, my tumor Cousin Greg. The title’s true meaning will become crystal clear a…

Fiesta Non Grata

Right now my sister and I were supposed to be on a plane headed to Cancun. I had booked us first class as a special treat (Jennie will be finding this out as she edits this post). We were going to celebrate her schmiftieth birthday. we were set to stay at this super bougie vegan…

Good at This

T minus 18 hours until Greg is sent to tumor heaven. I have been in quarantine in my bedroom for about 60 hours since my pre-op Covid test (which is negative!). Here is a short rundown of what I have been doing, with corresponding embarrassment levels 1-10; 1 being not embarrassing at all and 10…

The Gregercoaster

Setting the scene: ~You find out you have a Greg in your chest on December 22nd, but knew on the 16th that there was a strong possibility of cancer. Your breasts were last checked as clean on August 22 so Greg has appeared and/or grown big enough to be detected in 4 months. You do…

Twenty Twenty Two-mer

I have lost the ability to see things in terms of years. When you are cancery, or perhaps when you are walking through any difficult patch of life, time is not measured in long swaths. It is measured in, ‘bitch, am I going to make it through the next hour?!’ 2016 taught me many things,…

Greg

The flurry of tests, scans & appointments is in full swing. A few days ago my sister took me to the hospital for a CT scan from my pubic bone to my neck to look for distant metastases. This involved getting there 2 hours early to pick up ‘the drink.’ Over the course of the…

AGAIN

Christmas, 2021. At the age of 41, I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time (pause for hysterical laughter–she’s kidding right?) Two weeks ago, I saw my oncologist for a regular appointment. She did an exam, as she always does. She found a lump on my cancerous side. I had an ultrasound the…

Tick, Tick, Tick

Chapter One A handful of hours after our wedding, my husband got sick, like super-sick. As I was still a 27 year old bozo, I immediately called my mom. She was also sick. The calls kept coming in; many, many people were sick. By lunchtime, 5 of our friends and family, including my new husband,…