mygrancerblog

The Only Difference Between ‘Nodes’ & ‘Donuts’ is an E & and a U (& a T or something… I don’t know)

I would like to discuss the cover photo of this post. This may be the most accurate photo ever taken depicting my general lifestyle choices. Satin pillowcase, because my grandma said all women should use them for wrinkles. Bunny I’ve slept with since childhood (don’t judge, I’m proud of Sophia June). A sloth tucked under…

Grace, Out

I am done and on my way home. Here is a brief synopsis: Wait, wait, wait. Pre op area, get IV and talk to yet another handsome anesthesia team. Get some Versed. Wheeled into operating room. Remember some light chatting, lights out. Wake up in recovery. PAIN. Armpit hurts something fierce. Burny and downright stupid…

#sequinsforsurgery

Barely slept last night. I want to blame it on anxiety, but I think it was equal parts physical discomfort. I hate sleeping on my back, which is my only option. Good thing I have a super solid nap/unconsciousness in my future. I think there might be a conspiracy about not being allowed to eat…

Dress Up

I feel like I am wearing cancer as a costume. It doesn’t feel a part of me. It feels very peripheral, like it’s happening to me, but it is not intrinsically a piece of me. I’ve seen the scans and pathology reports, I’ve read them carefully. I saw the MRI pictures. There is no mistaking…

The Beginning

It occurred to me that most of you, dear readers, don’t know how this odyssey all began. I am choosing the term ‘odyssey’ because as an avid member of Bachelor Nation, I refuse to use the word journey. Some things are sacred and ‘journey’ belongs to Chris Harrison. Upfront warning: This post will walk the line…

No Drains

The day has come. My drain output has been under 30ml per drain for 48 hours straight. The drains can come out!!!!! Before anything good happens to me, I obviously have to go to the dentist, just to even out my karma. Luckily, this morning’s 8am appointment was uneventful and was an excellent excuse to…

Try Not To Smile

Very few of my personal preferences make any logical sense. For example, who hates the beach? This guy, that’s who. First of all, it’s outside which is already a negative as I am what you would call, ‘indoorsy.’ I dislike hauling stuff under any circumstances, crowds make me nuts, and don’t even get me started on…

Highway To The Danger Zone

Within the last 12 hours a whole bunch of shitbag things have happened. That rash I mentioned yesterday started to itch around bedtime. I’m talking, threat-level red, itching. 6 hours, 3 benadryl, 1 muscle relaxer and 1 anti-anxiety drug (all sedatives) later, I am still wide awake. I had goldilock-ed my way around the house….

Brave

Since diagnosis I have been told that I am brave what feels like hundreds of times. I accept the compliment, but on a day when we celebrate all of the men and women who have sacrificed their lives for our freedom, the adjective falls flat in relationship to my cancer. Let’s look at the definition; …

Okay Cancer Now Let’s Get In Formation (I’ve Got Muscle Relaxers In My Bag)

A couple of months ago, my sister signed up to run a 10 mile race just so that she could get early access to Beyoncé tickets. Miraculously, she got 4, which must have cost her a small fortune. I’ve seen N*SYNC and Jay Z at Soldier Field so this would have rounded out that trifecta rather nicely….

Tooth Hurty

Warning: this blog is not going to be uplifting. If you are in the mood for that, go Pinterest puppies in baskets or something. Within the last 24 hours, I’ve cried at the dinner table, been misty eyed in my recliner, wept in the shower and had a root canal. This feels real now. I…

Somewhere Over The Drainbow

I have never been a good sleeper. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. I am restless and since having children, I get night sweats, which I’m pretty sure is my body’s way of saying, “Gurl, you don’t need to actually exercise, we be sweatin’ right now while you asleep!”. (Worth noting, my…