I’m here. I’m hungry. I’m ready. I’m scared. But mostly hungry.
I slept alright with the exception of tooth pain that left my sister and I contemplating whether or not we could crush a Tylenol for me to snort since I can’t have water. Ended up swallowing that bitch with saliva somewhere around 4am and finally was able to sleep for a few hours.
Alarm went off, sequin sweatpants went on. That’s about the extent of getting ready on surgery day. No coffeecake, no tea, just some teeth brushing to keep it fresh for my anesthesiologists and we were out the door.
Waiting in a lovely ambulatory surgery pre-op room with my sister, mom and Joe- all of whom are wearing custom-made Grancer shirts gifted by yours truly. If you plan on being in my waiting room, you will be wearing a t-shirt with my boobs on it. Boo-yah, father-in-law!!!
So yeah, I guess I’m about to have my breasts removed so that’s cool. This writer is rendered somewhat speechless at this time.
Thank you all for your prayers, vibes, namastes.
In the immortal words of my spiritual guru Robert Van Winkle, ‘Keep my composure when it’s time to get loose. Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice. If there was a problem, Yo, I’ll solve it! Check out the hook while the DJ revolves it.’
See you on the flipside my little Grancerites!!