I am already laughing at the really bad joke I am about to tell. I really do entertain myself. I think I could be okay in a locked, padded room for a few days. It might feel like a vacation.
Anyway, here goes. I am having a hair day! Not a good hair day, not a bad hair day, just a day when I have decided to wear hair. Get it?!?! AHAHAHAHAHA.
For 97% of my illness I have lived my life bald. I just don’t care. But every once in a blue moon, I feel like being a haired person again. It usually doesn’t last long because wigs are hot and uncomfortable, but it does feel great to identify with your old self even if for just a few moments.
I picked a rainy day for my wig-venture to the grocery store. I am talking big stuff going on over here. Who cares if it is raining when your ‘hair’ can’t frizz or freak out? This wig is synthetic, it ain’t doing nothing. Just making me look like a star in the jelly aisle.
While we are discussing hair, allow me to fill you in on where my natural hair is. I would categorize it as somewhere between Will Ferrell and Seth Rogan.
It has so much gray which I am hoping will fall out as I have been told the first inch or so is dead-ish hair anyway. I’m okay with a little gray, but this is ludicrous for a 36 year old. It had been growing in straight until this past week when it has started to curl. The dreaded chemo curl. Not gonna lie, it’s not great.
I think I am in the beginning of an endless stream of awkward stages. I want it long again, but do I keep the back and sides fresh and clipped while the top grows out? Or do I let my inner Ronald McDonald fly his freak flag?
Speaking of freaks… Get ready for this little doozy. I have started growing dark hair under and beside my eyes. Yup, you heard me. This is a real WTF moment. I posted a photo on the Young Survivors Coalition Facebook page and got a resounding response that this is normal.
NORMAL? Come on ladies. This is not normal. Maybe it is common, but normal? No way. The group seems divided on whether this is caused by chemo or by Tamoxifen. The majority vote Tamoxifen as it so severely futzes with your hormones. I believe it is the Tamoxifen, too.
So I went from a hairless human to a hairy human. Why god?! I guess the plan is to NAIR the shit out of this area until the follicles give up. Maybe I will even splurge for laser hair removal. Eye hair is just not a look I am going for.
Do you see the things I do for you, People of Grancer? I have bravely shown you my eye hair. Now do you believe how much I love you?!