***Pills pictured above clockwise from top left: Prozac (you try navigating cancer without an anti-depressant/anxiety, judgy-pants), Astragalus, My Community Host Defense Mushroom supplement, 2 steroids, Turkey Tail Root Mushroom supplement, Claritin. Not Pictured: Vitamin D, which fell off my head. (And PS- that is a shadow on my noggin not a scary bruise.)

So tomorrow is my last scheduled chemo. That makes today Chemo Eve. In zero ways, it is just like Christmas Eve. No indoor trees, I am 99% sure no Messiahs will be born and I don’t even have a fireplace/chimney, so there will be no presents other than poison, which doesn’t count.

On the joyous occasion of Chemo Eve, I have composed a little song for you all.

You may recognize the tune…

On the first day of chemo my cancer gave to me, a low blood cell count and lethargy

On the second day of chemo my cancer gave to me, 2 weeks of bone pain and a low blood cell count and lethargy

On the third day of chemo my cancer gave to me, intermittent nausea, 2 weeks of bone pain and a low blood cell count and lethargy.

On the fourth day of chemo my cancer gave to me, hopefully remission,  intermittent nausea, 2 weeks of bone pain and a low blood cell count and lethargy

Tonight while I am sleeping, I am praying that my cancer-y Elf on a Shelf will fly back to Cancer-land and never come back. BYE CANCER ELF.

I am feeling excited, nervous, bitter, relieved, tired and scared. I have about a month of feeling extra crappy as this chemo round and all those that came before it compounds in my body to murder cancer cells. After that, it is up to my microbiome to get in formation and not mutate towards the dark side again.

~~Insert Group Prayers to whomever your higher power is now~~

One last note: The other night I was insomniac-ing out, as per usual, and decided to try a smidgey smidge of Grape God. I am happy to report that it did not trip me out, but it did cause me to surf Amazon for fun wigs for over an hour at 1am.  Below are the fruits (get it? Grape god?!) of my labor.

• Disclaimer: beware of buying wigs whilst on (legal) drugs. Though it worked out pretty good for me, results are not guaranteed.