I would like to discuss the cover photo of this post. This may be the most accurate photo ever taken depicting my general lifestyle choices. Satin pillowcase, because my grandma said all women should use them for wrinkles. Bunny I’ve slept with since childhood (don’t judge, I’m proud of Sophia June). A sloth tucked under my other arm. And I’m asleep with a donut clutched in both hands. Cancer has allowed me the opportunity to show the world my baseline ridiculousness. Thank you, cancer.

I don’t know that I have the sobriety to write a narrative of any kind, but I have some delightful photos to share so I’ll make up some words to accompany them.

Here’s what the last 24 hours have been like: lay motionless in bed. Ask if it’s been 4 hours, to take more pain meds. Eat donuts in bed to accompany said pain meds. Fall asleep. Repeat. Here is a photo of me at 2:42am wearing a specially made ‘drain shirt,’ wound bandages showing and eating a donut:

I’ve kicked Joe out of the bed so that my sister Jennie, also known as my Sherpa, guru and shaman, can be ever by my side. She anticipates my every need and is pretty much keeping me alive. If you value my life at all, you should probably send her a present or some cash or something.

So, we also had Cecilia’s kindergarten graduation today. Here’s how that went: my sister washed my hair in the sink, I took 2 hydrocodone, put on a stretchy dress ’cause I can’t fit my arms through any kind of tight armhole, put on large sunglasses, walked out the door. Please note, I skipped looking in a mirror.

Here I am rolling into kindergarten graduation, high as a kite with my underwear showing through my dress. Please also note the drain bulge above my waist on my right side:

Who let this bird out of her cage?

I am pretty positive I won’t remember being there, but luckily I’ll have this class-act photo to prove it. I cried as I watched my daughter sing, ‘We want to be a part of it– First Grade, First Grade’ to the tune of New York, New York. But I might have also cried watching House Hunters, so who knows.

Here is what I do know- I’m very happy that I made it to graduation less than 24 hours after surgery. I was so worried I wouldn’t get to be there for my little lady’s big day. I am also very happy that Joe bought a dozen donuts on the way home from the hospital yesterday.